SCRIPTURAL SOLUTIONS TO CONFLICTS
Tayo Onaleye
Conflicts are a fact of life.
Luk 17:1 ....It is impossible but that offences will come...
The real issue is not "if" there would be conflicts but "how" to handle them when they arise.
There are just two scriptural solutions to conflicts.
1. Resolution with subsequent alignment
Matthew 18. 15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
This is the preferred outcome.......on both personal and corporate levels.
We resolve the issue, get back on the same page and move on in the same spirit.
It happens.
This is very possible by the spirit of love and the power of open and honest communication.
2. Peaceful separation
As desirable as the first outcome is, it doesn't always happen.
No big deal.
If we can't achieve outcome No.1 then we must consider this option No. 2.....Peaceful separation
Genesis 13.7-9
7 And there was a strife between the herdmen of Abram's cattle and the herdmen of Lot's cattle: and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land.
8 And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren
9 Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou departto the right hand, then I will go to the left.
We can extract some basic principles from these Biblical injunctions
1. Conflicts are a basic fact of life
2. Conflicts don't auto-resolve.
You must make deliberate and intentional efforts at resolving them or else they will fester, degenerate and deteriorate beyond manageable proportions.
3. Take the lead to address the conflict.
The person who takes the lead is the leader.
There was a conflict between the herdmen of Lot and Abraham. Lot kept quiet about it but Abraham took the lead and called Lot to address the issue.
Abraham confronted the issue head-on.
Don't keep quiet.
Don't keep malice.
Don't harbor grudges.
Don't sweep issues under the carpet.
Confront issues head-on.
Be brutally honest and very frank about the issue.
Lay all the cards on the table.
That's leadership.
Jesus said exactly the same thing in Matthew 18.15
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone:
Jesus places the onus of resolution on you, the leader.
Go and talk to the person....one-on-one.
Not to third parties.
Not to social media.
That was exactly what Abraham did.....about 4000 years before Jesus came.
Abraham called Lot and confronted the issue head on, one-on-one.
4. Address issues PROMPTLY
Don't allow issues to drag on and on indefinitely.
Don't allow issues to linger.
This will create complications.
5. Be bold enough to put forward the option of peaceful separation
Abraham told Lot point blank, ".....let us go our separate ways....." Genesis 13.9
Instead of allowing the business deal to deteriorate to personal "beefs" be bold to tell your business partner, "Sister, it ain't working.......let's go or separate ways"
Going your your separate ways amicably is eternally better than continuing in a high maintenance relationship of strife and contentions.
Twenty children cannot play together for twenty years.
It's a reality of life.
Face it squarely and boldly when it happens.
6. Operate by love.....at all times
Your aim of addressing the issue must be for brotherly love to continue.
Love is the greatest.
God is love.
Whatever is not done in love is sin.
The love in the voice of Abraham was palpable.
Genesis 13. 8 And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren.
Such a great heart of love!
Whether we resolve issues and continue together or we choose to part ways peacefully like Abraham and Lot, we must always remember that "we are brethren" first and foremost.
So you must never allow a conflict pull you out of your love zone.
One of the greatest temptations you will face as a leader is unforgiveness.
Don't allow it in your heart "..... lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you," -Hebrews 12.15
Don't fall for the temptation of malice, bitterness and a vengeful spirit.
Remain in love.....always
Comments
Post a Comment